Gran Alacant Forum

Miscellaneous => Jokes & Funnies => Topic started by: Up the iron on February 27, 2019, 17:55.

Title: Amazon
Post by: Up the iron on February 27, 2019, 17:55.: I've just ordered a chicken and an egg from Amazon.

I'll let you know.
Title: Re: Amazon
Post by: denandrose on March 13, 2019, 13:23.: ;D ;D
Title: Re: Amazon
Post by: Aficionado on March 14, 2019, 15:43.: :) :)
Title: Re: Amazon
Post by: Up the iron on March 20, 2019, 18:47.: Young Johnny came hone from school and said to his parents,

"The teacher asked a question today and I was the first to put my hand up and answer the question"

The proud parents asked "What was the question?"

Who farted?
Title: Re: Amazon
Post by: Angiewheel1 on April 09, 2019, 18:06.: Sent from my SNE-LX1 using Tapatalk
Title: Re: Amazon
Post by: Aficionado on April 11, 2019, 12:13.: ;D ;D ;D
Title: Re: Amazon
Post by: Up the iron on April 24, 2019, 17:04.: I now hold the record of the number of views in Jokes and Funnies.
Title: Re: Amazon
Post by: Up the iron on May 02, 2019, 07:58.: Did you know that 85% of pie charts resemble Pacman.
Title: Re: Amazon
Post by: Up the iron on May 03, 2019, 10:48.: I had to visit the doctor today and he prescribed me some anti-gloating cream.

I can't wait to rub it in.
Title: Re: Amazon
Post by: denandrose on May 03, 2019, 12:20.: You are so funny Mr Iron ;D ;D
Title: Re: Amazon
Post by: Aficionado on May 03, 2019, 17:33.: ;D ;D
Title: Re: Amazon
Post by: Tony Gillam on May 04, 2019, 07:02.: I was chatting to a German guy and it was surprising that they have the same proverbs as us. He said "You can't make an umlaut without breaking eggs"
Title: Re: Amazon
Post by: Tony Gillam on May 04, 2019, 07:07.: I was in a French restaurant and the waiter asked me if I was like the 'tarte au citron'. I replied that I was hardly likely to get into a hooker's C3 Picasso with my wife.
Title: Re: Amazon
Post by: Up the iron on May 05, 2019, 11:51.: I called in at Subway today. They had an offer for £3

Choose between 9 subs and a drink.

I said "what a dumb choice"

I'll take the 9 subs please.
Title: Re: Amazon
Post by: Rothbury Boy on May 30, 2019, 17:52.: You are a funny man Mr. Iron.
Title: Re: Amazon
Post by: Peter D on May 30, 2019, 18:08.: Just come back from a cruise,there was a competition for the strangest pet,my wife won with a tin of salmon!
Title: Re: Amazon
Post by: Up the iron on June 11, 2019, 14:03.: I went on a date last Saturday night, what a total disaster.

The girl told me over the phone she was expecting a baby.

So I went to the pub wearing only a nappy.

I felt like a proper idiot.
Title: Re: Amazon
Post by: Rothbury Boy on June 11, 2019, 14:09.: You should be on the stage Mr.Iron.
Title: Re: Amazon
Post by: Up the iron on June 14, 2019, 10:17.: I was sat in a popular "brit" bar in GA the other night with my mate when 4 drunk thugs started mouthing off at us.

"Pretend we're the police" my mate said.

Well, I only got half way through the first verse of Roxanne before they kicked the living daylights out of us.
Title: Re: Amazon
Post by: denandrose on June 14, 2019, 10:30.: ;D ;D
Title: Re: Amazon
Post by: Up the iron on June 17, 2019, 09:21.: I get my personalised licence plate today. BAA BAA

Should look cool on my black jeep.
Title: Re: Amazon
Post by: Tony Gillam on June 18, 2019, 08:05.: I was going to get a personalised plate but it was too expensive so I've still got AP05ERS. Better than my mates ancient Beemer though. His is P111OCK
Title: Re: Amazon
Post by: Up the iron on June 21, 2019, 13:17.: I had a knock on the door earlier. It was plod.

"Mr Iron?"

Yes I replied.

I'm afraid your dog has been reported to have chased someone on a bike.

That cant be right, my dog doesn't have a bike.
Title: Re: Amazon
Post by: Aficionado on June 21, 2019, 19:32.: Boom boom!! :)